Torn Out Of Existance
by Fiangeline96
Summary: Bella is torn between Jacob & Edward. Before the battle with Victoria, Bella stands up and faces the truth, she can’t choose… If you like it R&R.
1. Torn Out Of Existance

** Disclaimer: I do not own Stephanie Meyers Twilight saga, all the characters belong to her.**

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** Chapter 1: Decision**

**_ Bella's Point Of View_**

** (Quoted from Stephanie Meyer Eclipse page.515 - 517 chapter 23 Monster)**

"Bella he's already miles away from here, and it's cold".

"I don't care. I can't just sit here".

I shrugged off Jacob's parka. Shoved my feet into my boots and crawled swiftly to the door my; legs felt numb.

"I have to go - I have to…" I didn't know how to finish the sentence, didn't know what there was to do, but I unzipped the door anyway, and I climbed out into the bright blue morning.

There was less snow than I would have thought after the fury of last night's storm. Probably it had blown away rather than melted in the sun that now shone low in the southeast, glancing off the snow that lingered and stabbing at my unadjusted eyes. The air still had a bite to it, but it was dead calm and slowly becoming more seasonable as the sun rose higher.

Seth Clearwater was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles in the shadow of a thick spruce, his head on his paws. His sand colored fur was almost invisible against the dead needles, but I could see the bright snow reflect off his open eyes. He was staring at me with what I imagined was an accusation.

I knew Edward was following me as I stumbled toward the trees. I couldn't hear him, but the sun reflected off his skin in glittering rainbows that danced ahead of me. He didn't reach out to stop me until I was several paces into the forest.

His hand caught my left wrist. He ignored it when I tried to yank myself free.

"You can't go after him. Not today. It's almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn't help anyone, regardless."

I twisted my wrist, pulling uselessly.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered. "I'm sorry I did that."

"You didn't do anything. It's my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have…When he…I shouldn't have…I…I…" I was sobbing.

"Bella, Bella".

His arms folded around me, and my tears soaked into his shirt.

"I should have – told him – I should – have said –"What? What could have made this right? " He shouldn't have – found out like this."

"Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There's still a little time," Edward murmured, hushed agony in his voice.

I nodded into his chest, afraid to see his face.

"Stay by the tent. I'll be back soon."

His arms disappeared. He left so quickly that in the second it took for me to look up, he was already gone.

I was alone.

** (Quotation ended)**

**_ Bella's Point Of View_**

Now was my chance.

After all my thinking last night and this morning's dramatic start, I had finally made my night was like a horrible nightmare or maybe it was. I couldn't tell either way. I don't know what to think anymore, everything just, just went up in smoke so quickly… I thought Edward and I would be together happily, and easily, but then…Oh, I don't know, I guess I loved Jacob all along. The problem is I can't hurt them anymore and I can't hurt the other.

What in world was I thinking when I thought I could make them both happy. I was going to break one of them and have him smiling smugly down at the other. But could I really hurt Jacob or Edward like that?

If I was going to break one, it was only fair to break the other.

I looked back at Seth. The giant sandy wolf looked so peaceful lying there. His ear twitched and he looked up at me as if I had said his name. I smiled acknowledging the fact that he was there, Seth dropped his gaze back to the floor. Suddenly he was on all fours whining.

That simple whine was my queue, I turned to face the surrounding forest, suddenly memories of Edward and Jacob flooded my mind.

My mind flashed images of what was now my past.

A sharp pain stung my head as I saw Edward smiling my favorite croaked smile, then Jacob smiling my sun into existence, I would never forgive myself for this.

Then the same stab of pain again, but for a different reason. The images were the truth and I was unconsciously trying to persuade my path. I had made my decision. Another image; Jasper trying to push past Edward to get to me at my 18th birthday party. If that wasn't enough to remind me the difference between what's right and what is killing me to do, the next one was; I saw Paul and Jacob fighting in the clearing. Not my Jacob. If I stayed any longer, I would just make things worse, however more attached I would love to be it would do nobody any good. Edward, Jacob, I couldn't hurt anyone anymore. I didn't know where I was going, but I had to go, to get out, anywhere. I had to tear myself out of their lives, if that's what I had to do, I would do it for their own good. They _were _my whole reason for existence and If I was leaving them then I was leaving my past existence. I was being _torn out of existence._

"No," I whispered. I had made my choice and I was not going back on it. I took at last look at Seth who was whining quietly. I smiled at the boy who reminded me of a younger Jacob. "Goodbye", I said under my breath, though the young werewolf did not look up.

I took my first step into the surrounding forest. This was the end of a chapter in my life. I had been torn out of existence.

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	2. Wasted

Bella's Point Of View

As I briskly stumbled through the surrounding canopy tears welled up in my eyes for what I was leaving behind making it so much harder to get a way form the mess I had created in the first place. Edward & the Cullen's, Jacob and that Pack or-or nothing. I mentally stumbled over my third and final choice.

I was never in the rest of my existence to ever, ever come back to Fork's as long as I lived no matter how much it pained me.

Edward, Jacob, Charlie, the Cullen's and the pack, I banished the thoughts, happy and unhappy.

I pulled my hand up to my face only to find mountain loads of tears streaming down my face.

I thought you banished us – An angry voice shouted in my head I think it sounded strangle like Paul?

"No", I said pushing on to complete my torturous journey.

Getting lost won't help anyone – the memory of Alice telling me to stick close.

"No", I said louder trying to push on only to be bombarded by yet another memory.

Bella you are my life now – the memory of Edward played over and over in my mind.

Bella I want you to choose me over, him – Jakes rough voice interrupted Edwards velvet voice.

Fire and ice – I thought to my self.

Fire and ice could never learn to get along no matter how hard you try.

Fire and Ice.

Werewolf and Vampire

Jacob and Edward.

With that I collapsed falling down to the ground sobbing as the sound of the fights lulled me into more tears and panic.

"Ha", I jumped at the sound of this strangely soprano voice, "Pathetic", the voice purred teasingly I continued my sobbing thinking the voice was just another in my head, but I couldn't remember this voice or this memory.

I was cut of form my sobbing when I was grabbed by around the neck. My breathing was rapidly cut off by this voice in confusion I tried kicking it not daring to open my eyes.

"Go away", I mumbled with the little breath I had left. I was angrily slammed against a tree. I opened my eyes only to reveal my worst night mare. She stood there, just like in my dreams her red hair blowing in the wind her beautiful face filled with hate for me and her red eyes burning into mine like acid, beside her stood a boy around my age smirking at me his shaggy blonde hair and blood shot eyes also piercing into my chocolate brown eyes.

"Well", the soprano voice continued, What! That was Victoria's voice I had always thought of it as a cat like voice but this was not the voice that should belong to Victoria it was the kind of voice that should belong to a, cute blonde girl with pink bubble gum and high socks with bows. "Aren't you going to call for Edward", she questioned me coming closer and kicking me in the stomach I was winded, cut short of breath. "Well", she questioned again stepping back and kicking me violently in the stomach once again, "Edward oh Edward come and save me from this horrible, cat like monster", she spat in my face mimicked my voice almost perfectly I winced and moaned in pain. "I'm not the monster", she shock her head slowly while smiling gently at me stroking my face then she dug her finger nails better described as claws into my check and screamed, "YOU'RE THE MONSTER YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT WITH MY JAMES ANYMORE YOU LITTLE COWARD GET UP AND FIGHT ME", venom filled her voice.

She stepped on my right leg breaking it. I lurched forward in pain not able to scream. My breathing was rapid and everything was fading out until, my angels broke through the darkness once again.

"GET AWAY FROM HER VICTORIA", Edward violently spat at her followed by the angry cry of a werewolf.

"No", Victoria said sounding breathless into my ear.

Woop Woop.

Finally Chapter 2.

OMFG who's seen the New Moon trailer? Anyways how hot is Taylor!

:] [:

REVIEW, I hope you liked it.

X o A n g i e & F o x o X


	3. The Easy Path

Okay so were super sorry that we haven't updated in a while but yeah :l

Heres the new chapter.

Chapter 3. The Easy Path.

Bella's Point Of View.

My stomach twirled as Edward & Victoria began to stalk one another in battle. With the little energy I had left I desperately looked up at Jacob hoping to God that he wasn't fighting the new born that had accompanied Victoria. To my dismay Jacob was head on fighting with the young vampire. I closed my eyes and eagerly awaited the outcome, though no matter how hard I tried to stay alive I couldn't I was fading away for sure.

I'd been close to death may times, though I could tell I was heading for my final breath. With the little time I had left I weighed up my options once more, hopefully the final time. I knew if it wasn't death, I would have to face the mess, my mess. I had to think things out; where would I go, how could I escape my past, did they know where I was, what I was doing. In a way I wanted them to, but I had to try without them for my plan to continue. Though I wanted to just wilt away, I had to do the honorable thing and fight against my own weakness, however simple and tempting the solution seemed. If I was gone, no one would have to risk their lives for me anymore, no more people would die because of me. It seemed silly, but everyone would be better off in a world without me.

After this fight all my dangers will be gone . . . . though the Volturi will possibly still want me, I can simply go & live a normal life without Werewolf & Vampires crossing my path. Maybe finish collage move somewhere isolated and quite, and live a long but scared life. The thought sounded tortures though it was only for the best. . . . . . if only it wasn't so hard to follow through with. Maybe I should have grown up and moved on when Edward left and never thought of turning to Jacob for help but, the damage was already done that had already played out in my life and now I was truly full of sorrow and regret.

Edward was right, as much as I had liked too disagree with him the world of mythical creatures was no place for a clumsy human girl. I'd tried and tried to prove him wrong, but it seemed that nothing I did or could ever do, would change the constant conflict between things that weren't supposed to exist. I couldn't really say that the world would be better without these mythical creatures or that I wished that they didn't exist, because that would be a lie. Even after all this time, all these faults, mistakes, I should have learnt now that my own instincts were completely incorrect to the art of living. My whole life was messed up, stuffed, because I fooled with a life that was not meant for me, for anyone. Although, to admit the truth; my life wouldn't have been anything as twistingly exciting as it has been, if I lived a million years.

It was time it was happening , death. Death in the place of someone I loved this did seem noble enough but in reality I was betraying them both. Edward & Jacob the loves of my life the two that were tearing me apart, ripping me too shreds as if I was a rag doll. Though, they were only fighting for what they wanted and what they thought was best for me.

My mind was clouding over leaving me as I left the earth hoping for some happier place. Hoping that they would live, banishing all memories and thoughts of me as I had been unsuccessfully tried to do. A horrible screeching sound pulled me from the peaceful but questioning darkness, too the terrifying scene I had been trying to escape.

There they were both Edward and Jacob fire flickering behind them; ironically painting a visual picture of the obvious hate that radiated across the room. I could feel the tension, it was so close to snapping. Soon enough the most powerful beings would erupt in the most ferocious spite of anger and I would be drawn to a decision that I have refused to make for such a long time.


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